|Mom:||If you were going to kill someone, what weapon would you choose?|
|Me:||A dull knife.|
|Dad:||Why a dull knife?|
|Me:||You want to really mess someone up and make it painful? Use a dull knife. Sure, it's going to take a bit more effort, but it isn't going to cut. It's going to rip. It'll be painful, and if they survive the healing process will be a lot more difficult and painful. A dull knife expresses more anger than a sharp knife. A sharp knife is kind of the nice guy murdering tool, but if I'm going to kill someone I'm going to assume that I have finally snapped so I'd go for something painful and vicious.|
|Mom:||We've raised a potential serial killer.|
|Dad:||I don't know about you, but I'm proud of the amount of thought that went into that.|
Some last minute Tim Burton Valentines
It’s Valentines Day here in Australia, so I just want to wish everybody a happy Valentine’s Day……and if you’re like me and you don’t have a Valentine, it doesn’t mean you’re unloved and undesirable, you just haven’t been shot by cupid’s arrow or crossed paths with the right one yet. P.s I LOVE YOU <3 xx
Don’t forget the best thing about Valentine’s Day is the day after chocolate sale…. CAN I GET A HELL YEAH!!!!!!!
Send these to your Valentine and I guarantee you will get laid probably.
EDIT: I accidentally put “you smell nice” on there twice. It has been replaced with “cute toes”.